Dispatches from Kaiserslautern

16:17 We just arrived into the stadium.  The crowd is
starting to fire up to cheesey Italian music and INXS.
I can't wait to hear ACDC.  Italians have entered the
pitch.  The brats are great and the Bud sucks.  ACDC is
now playing -- Shook Me All Night Long.

16:23 Three beer limit. Rosemary told me she plans
to drink more beer today than she has since the last WC.

Sitting in front of Jap business dudes.  Hottie Aussie
in a bikini airs on the jumbotron.  Japs smile and wave
Aussie flags.

The stadium is fantastic.

16:28 Rosemary polished off a Brat.

Seats are on the 18 -- 12 rows up.

I think the Aussies outnumber the Italians.  Tell your
buddy we are in the Socceroo camp.  Let's go Cahill.

18:01 German chant translated by my neighbor.

"Without Nederland we drive to Berlin" sang late in the
first half.

Ukraine 1- CH 0 (3-0 in pk's)

The antidote to Portugal v. Holland. The ref forgot his whistle. After the first hard challenge from Switzerland he waved Play On and was consistently blind until the end. Going into half time both sides looked ready to play for penalty kicks. Then Scheva missed the first for Ukraine, then Streller, then Barnetta, then Cabañas missed the first three for CH. Italy has an opponent next Friday and Shovkovsky (above in green) won't be fooled as easily as Schwarzer.

Italy 1- Australia 0

95th minute. Oh, the humanity.

Portugal 1 - Holland 0

They scheduled a diving meet and a fight broke out. 16 cards and 4 expulsions. Chippy but Portugal advance to face England on Saturday.

Ghana 2 - US 1

It´s over.

Argentina 0 - Holland 0

The predicted Kissing Your Sister Match of the Week lived up to billing. Still, Tevez (above) was rampant in the first half. Mexico, you've been warned. Germany, I want my bike back.

Germany 3 - Ecuador 0

The tifosi in my hotel were up at 04:00 watching reruns of the German matches against CR and Poland. Alas, they were unable to provide any tactical support. Bring on boring Sweden or lucky England.

Beer War II

BERLIN, June 17 (Reuters) - Hundreds of Dutch fans had to watch their team's 2-1 win over the Ivory Coast in their underwear in Stuttgart on Friday after stewards at entry points to the stadium rumbled an ambush marketing ploy.

The Netherlands supporters all turned up in garish orange lederhosen displaying the name of Dutch brewery Bavaria and were ordered to remove them by stewards before being allowed to enter the Gottlieb-Daimler-Stadion.

Given the strained relationship between the two countries last century couldn´t the Dutch take this is stride? Unlikely. Click here for the rest of the article and the unfortunate last line.

Ukraine 4 - KSA 0

Spurs fans ask Rebrov, Why have you been saving this?

Japan 0 - Croatia 0

Wake us when it´s over.

Brazil 2 - Australia 0

Australia were fine but couldn´t finish. Brazil were flat. Ronaldo was awful. The entire group gets a yawn.

Italy 1 - USA 1

Not good enough. Three red cards, an own goal and a disallowed goal made for ugly viewing. The US are now in need of a win against in-form Ghana and confusing math to advance. Unlikely. The Green Cobra would like to introduce Daniele de Rossi to the Columbian drug gang and their Nigerian rivals that clash around the Central Bus Station.

Ghana 2 - Czech Republic 0

Italy and the US get lucky as Ghana easily handles injury plagued CR.

From our man DF in Germany

game was great. thought poland was going to hold on to the end. lots to think about, good and bad, when you are surrounded by tens of thousands of germans, all chanting "deutschland". but i guess since i live here in berlin, not that strange anymore. the american bud at the stadium sucks, as usual. that concession was a bread soda travesty. living in germany for the cup is great. everyone everywhere is watching. beautiful outdoor cafes with screens every corner. when i ride my bike, i can pretty much watch the game as i roll, with one place after another showing the game. the atmosphere is lovely around town. it is much more goodkharmabuilding than i might have thought. happypeople. good vibes, good times.

Holland 2 - Cote d'Ivoire 1

Is this Robben or Van Persie? I get them confused.

The Dutch National Diving Team won their second consecutive meet at the Gottlieb-Daimler Natatorium in Stuttgart. The entire team contributed to the victory but special citations are due to Van Bommel for his double back pike inward in the 25th minute; Arjen Robben´s triple tuck in the 33rd and Van Persie´s forward one and a half pike in the 65th. The Green Cobra especially admired Van Persie´s dive as he was shouldered from the side but still courageously dove forward. Concentration is king in world class diving and the Dutch have it in spades. Hup, hup, hup!

Argentina 6 - Serbia 0

So that happened.

Pay no attention to the Green Cobra behind the curtain.

Scratch the last post about conservative Andeans. I was just laughed out of a circle for not accepting shots of rot gut whiskey. Ftr, beer is not mas macho.

The Plaza of the Hummingbird is filled with waitresses delivering beer and tequila and fans sneaking in their own stash. I promise, as I type, Kool and the Gang are now Ecuadoran: Come on!

If you needed further proof that Ecuador is the global center of sweetness, click here. And all the while they are so polite about England and Sweden leaving it late against...

Ecuador 3, Costa Rica 0

Quito was quiet after Delgado put Ecuador up 2-0. Last night a gringo explained the Andean Ecuadorans were much more reserved than their coastal countrymen. When Kaviedes scored to put the game out of reach the cafe finally burst into cheers. Minutes later cars started honking their horns. It´s been loud since.

After Crouch scored his dubious header against TT the locals in the Plaza del Quinde (hummingbird) easily drowned out the English fans. Ole, ole, ole, Ecuador, Ecuador!

Germany 1 - Poland 0

Germany looked better without Ballack. A perfect result for Ecuador. If they beat Costa Rica they advance.

I watched the second half in a restaurant. All the tables were full but the patrons were silent. Each German miss brought no reaction from anybody save the gringo. When Neuville scored, however, the room erupted.

Polite Ecuadorans. Let´s see how you behave tomorrow morning.

Spain 4, Ukraine 0

The US is no longer the worst team in the tournament. For now.

Initial thoughts after arriving in Quito last night after 23:30...

1. Although Ecuador has perhaps the worst jersey in the tournament they still fly their colors with understandable pride. Lots of countries with better merch (CdI, Togo, Angola, Poland, USA) would happily switch places in the standings.
2. Is Arjen Robben guaranteed the Greg Louganis WC06 Diving Gold Medal?
3. Is Christiano Ronaldo guaranteed the Isaiah Thomas WC06 Whining and Pouting Gold Medal?
4. Will Sweden or the Ukraine win Worst Team Haircuts?

Stay tuned.

Italy 2, Ghana 0

Andrea Pirlo thinks SPS girls are wicked, wicked hot. Daniele De Rossi thinks Asamoah can be shoved repeatedly in the box. The ref agrees on both accounts.

Shaka Hislop

Ten men T + T hold Sweden scoreless. Hislop (#1) deserves all the cliches and overstatement coming his way from the world press. Amazing.

To Be a Fan

"It's going to get a lot tighter before it gets any looser."
-GP, 2 June 06

"I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. I just want to go to sleep now so I can wake up sooner."
-DT, 8 June 06

In the vernacular of my Boston friends "tight" means very good. The second quote needs less explanation. Both were spontaneous, without guile or irony.

One of my favorite effects of the World Cup on personality is the loss of sarcasm and superiority. In the first five minutes of Poland-Ecuador I laughed when the camera showed the Ecuadoran keeper Mora. He had painted his face like a sophmore at a high school pep rally. That's uncool, I thought. He looks like a geek. 90 minutes later he had shut out Poland. Ecuador was suddenly a very realistic candidate for the 2nd round. An excellent reminder in just the second of sixty-four games: do you want to be cool or do you want to be good?

American fans don't know as much about the game as our South American and European counterparts. In turn, they don't know as much as the journalists who know less than the coaches. And the coaches routinely make wrong predictions and bad strategic and tactical decisions. As Arena hinted before the Portugal game in 02, nobody knows how the game is going to end. But as a globe, we're about to find out.

For the next 31 days we're just fans. We can cheer and admire and suffer and that's all.

Germany 4 - Costa Rica 2

Minute-by-minute report:

Opening Overblown Cultural Display
When they trot out the lederhosen and dirndls do they expect anybody who does not live between Stuttgart and Innsbruck to keep a straight face? Would have been better had they invited Clark Griswold.

1st Before I sit down I'm reminded how bad American broadcasters are. The studio commentary from Foudy and Wynalda is decent but O'Brien and Balboa, ugh.

2nd The referee stole Jody Watley's headset. Wonder if he'll break into "Your Love Keeps Working On Me."

6th Lahm's goal, even with the Costa Rican defender slipping, is brilliant. Perfectly placed in the far right corner. And the crowd goes wild.

73rd Wanchope scores his second (offsides) and the camera pans Kahn on the bench. The German backup keeper gives his best What?-I-didn't-say-anything look.

Germany look fine and now needing only a win against Ecuador to advance. Sitting pretty.

Kind of good news for the States

Nedved and Baros injured. Baros unlikely for the US game.

Good news for the States

Gattuso is scratched from the first two games.

Please let Sven take over RM or Porto or Spartak Praha

and meet up with Ferguson and MU in the early rounds of CL07/08. While we wait for that handshake and post-match beer, what? No? Really? Okay, while we wait for that pre- and post-match press brawl let's enjoy United having their hands tied by the FA and Fifa. Rooney's playing. Sven says as early as the group stage. Because we know in the June 20th match the Swedish players will treat Rooney with kid gloves. They wouldn't think of a late challenge or coming down hard on his foot after a header. Right? Especially if they've already knocked in an own goal against Paraguay and trail England at the half.

The Green Cobra is already recoiling for its second i-told-you-so. Until then the Guardian resets the pins.

Good news for Rooney

Not so for Cisse. The news gets worse for France as Zidane shanks a PK in their final warm up.

Suspicious silence

Rooney's had his scan. Now he waits for the results. Tick tock. This is fishy. If it was a national priority, and it clearly is, why don't the radiologist and the England and the Fifa and the United doctors read it on the screen in the imaging suite? If they want hard copies those can be processed in minutes. Slap the photos on the light board and look for cracks. Why the wait? The Green Cobra's been accused of blindly accepting conspiracy theories before but if it walks and talks like a duck...

What are the chances Eriksson and Ferguson spar in the press before this is over?

The politics of beer and sport

Forbes reports,

Bavarian politician Franz Maget received a great deal of publicity for describing Budweiser as "the worst beer in the world." Furthermore, he said, "We have a duty to public welfare and must not poison visitors to the World Cup." As word of mouth goes, it couldn't get much worse. A research report by Berlin-based Landau Media Monitoring points out that Budweiser is receiving the most negative coverage of all sponsors in the German media.

Full text here.

Goods news for Ghana,

and maybe good news for the States. Zambrotta is out for at least a game. Nesta's banged up, too.

Karl-Heinz Rummenigge on Chelsea and future UEFA salary cap

"Chelsea have shown that football is no longer rational. Bayern had a profit last year of €35m (24m). Chelsea had a loss of €204m (£140m). We would be bankrupt if that happened - but nothing happens to Chelsea. They just spend another £100m on new players. It is legal, what they are doing, but only from Chelsea's point of view. For the rest of us it is not acceptable or fair."

Globe article on soccer's 5th place status in the US

"This was not the case in the United States, and many countries under former British political rule. In the latter, the two games played by members of the British ruling military and bureaucracy in the late 19th century -- cricket and rugby -- furnished their hegemonic sports cultures and do so to this day. Just think of India, Pakistan, the West Indies in the Caribbean, indeed all of the Caribbean, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada. None of these became soccer countries then and they still are not to this day."

Convey, Bobby

NY Times article on the US midfielder.

TV schedule for the US.

ESPN, ESPN2 and ABC will show every game live. Thank you. Here is the schedule current through the group stage. Also posted in the links on the right.

Becks somehow makes us long for the sarong

Reason # 4,519 England fans are in for heartbreak:

'Without a doubt, lifting the World Cup would make me cry,' he says. 'I just know it would. Winning trophies is always an emotional moment. Unfortunately for the last three years I haven't managed it, so it would be nice to change that this summer. And I am quite an emotional person anyway.'

Jinx + maudlin + reflexive self-obsession = Scotland and the rest of the globe laughing. Best of luck. The Green Cobra is decidely skeptical. The entire article is available here.

Update to Parry's WC Drawsheet

Complete with customizable match and tv schedules, plus group standings. I'll add it to the links on the right. Click here.

The Guardian's Worst WC Hair Cuts

The Green Cobra just had Diane at the local Klassik Kuts give us the Ronaldo '02. Germany and Brazil tie for most entrants with 2.

Holland 1 - Australia 1

Good news for Serbia, Argentina and Cote d'Ivoire.

Good news, bad news and the rest of the day's friendlies

Good news: Claudio Reyna looks set for the CZ Rep game while Vlad Smicer is still almost certain to miss the entire tournament.

Bad news: in only his 10th game of the season Jan Koller scored twice as the CZ Rep shut out Trinidad and Tobago 3-0.

In other warm ups, Switzerland beat China 4-1 on braces each from Frei and Streller. And in Wolfsburg the Green Cobra's favorite Croatia lost to another (dark horse) fav Poland 1-0.

England 6 - Jamaica 0

Crouch scores three, but misses a penalty and Jamaica knock in two of the six. Next stop, Frankfurt. Match report here.

England players tell their children, Daddy might not be home on the 21st.

Rooney practices.

Reporters spotted the Manchester United forward, who broke his toe against Chelsea at the end of April, running and kicking the ball on a different part of the ground from the rest of his England team mates.United have lent England the ground for pre-Cup practice.

Here is the entire article.

Smicer out with protracted right knee injury.

Karel Brueckner calls up Libor Sionko in his place. Read the entire Reuters article here.